When my chemotherapy began, no one told me (or I selectively chose not to hear it) that if my white blood cell count was not where it should be they would have to stop the treatments until my counts normalized. Sometimes I would go weeks at a time without a treatment. I became very discouraged because I JUST WANTED TO GET IT OVER WITH.
Over time the sores in my mouth worsened to the point that I couldn’t eat much of anything and could only drink through a straw. Food and liquids had to be luke warm. I tried so hard not to let anything touch the inside of my mouth. Not even my tongue. It was even impossible to talk. I tried to form the words with my mouth open and not move my tongue. Try it some time. Nobody will know what the heck you are saying.
My fingers and toes always felt tight and tingly. I’d sleep all day and wake up when my family came home from their jobs. I staved off the nausea by taking the anti-nausea pills on a regular basis. The strange thing was that my skin never took on that grayish tone that I’ve seen on other chemo patients. However, the skin on my hands turned brown. They were so dark brown they looked like they belonged on someone else’s body.
I hated my life! I hated how I looked! I hated how I felt!
The only part of my body that looked great were my finger nails. For some odd reason (and I’m not complaining) they didn’t fall out like I was told they would. Instead, they grew long and strong like never before in my life. Once again, be grateful for the little things.