While out shopping one day I spotted a cute, little baseball cap. Hmm… maybe I’d give that a try since the sunhat was too heavy, and the little hat I got for free at the hospital made my head sweat. So I bought it and wore it all the time. ALL THE TIME! It was very comfortable. I loved it. I literally had a few short strands of hair by my forehead. With the cap on I would tug those little hairs out and make them look wispy. Hey… a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
One day as I was exiting the supermarket a wind kicked up and blew my cap off. Oh no! My first thought was that I didn’t want anyone to see me without hair. I would have been doubly mortified if someone I knew saw me. With grocery bags in my hands I went running through the parking lot to capture it.
I know some women in the cancer unit with bald heads didn’t seem the least bit self-conscious about it. I wish I could have been more like them. They were proud, not embarassed, because they were fighting the good fight. To knock cancer on its ass. Even friends of chemo patients shaved their heads in solidarity. I admire them immensely. But me… I’m being honest when I tell you, my self-esteem was very low when I didn’t have hair. And then I lost most of my eyelashes. Luckily I wear glasses so that wasn’t something anyone noticed.